Parental Filter

We do a huge disservice to ourselves, as human beings, when we automatically warn of dismal failures where teen pregnancy and parenting are concerned.

With careful planning, society could do more good by accommodating these parents, rather than creating an atmosphere that not only sets their mental and emotional states up for failure, but actively sanctions against their success.

We would probably see more success with acceptance and positive, emotional support.

My husband and I weren't as young as some of you, we were 18 and just turned 20 when our son was born. We are still together.
Our daughter wanted to wait until she was in her 30s to have her two kids. Not long ago she told me that if she had it to do all over again, she'd have kids when she was as young as I was. I took that as a compliment.

I'm glad I wasn't so young because I know I wouldn't have been ready for motherhood. I was in my mid 20's when I had children, I have enjoyed my children at every stage in their lives.

I guess I would have coped if I had been younger, but I'm glad I waited a bit, I was more settled when we had the children.

This is a hard question that I have faced a couple of times. I want my daughters to get a good education and not limit their options, but when some of their friends do it differently I want to be supportive of them too. My oldest daughter is 20 doing well at university, but with a large student loan to pay off when she leaves. My other daughter is 18, just finishing school and heading to university in the autumn. Her friend has never worked, she left school, got pregnant, got a flat and is living on benefits, as far as I know she is a good mum, she is a nice girl but I worry about the message it gives. My daughter has worked since she was 16 and will have to work through university too (and still end up with student debt) but her friend is in effect being paid for doing nothing, it gives the wrong message to young people. I guess the reality for the friend is rather lonely and exhausting, being alone with a young baby, but that is not how it looks to her friends, and as a tax payer I want more people working and less people needing me to support them.

Justontime i know what you mean, but the system is at fault for letting that happen. Once faced with a pregnancy the young person needs support, but she also needs to be helped to support herself and her child (or at least contribute to that support).

I still think that the man (or boy) in these circumstances needs to take more responsibility. I am not suggesting that they should be forced to stay together, but the baby has two parents and both should be contributing to the cost and upbringing of the child. In the long run it would be better for everyone.

Something I have noticed that I find disturbing, is that children now being born to people, who have waited until their career was set and they had money, are raising children who seem to have their hands painted on.

They have no clue how to survive hard times, because they haven't seen them or lived through them with their parents. Their world has been presented "ready made".

While some people prefer the established home with accomplished parents for child rearing, I would feel better with kids who don't think life is easy and who have seen people struggle without losing their ethical compass.