Parental Filter

Hi All,

I'm in a two-parent household, but some of my kids' friends have single parents, and my kids are getting to the age where they're starting to wonder why it's "different on the other side of the fence". Any pointers on how to handle these types of situations?

Thanks,
Sam

I just tell them basically there are many reasons that there might not be a mom and a dad in a family and that all families are different. I take it from there if my son asks for more information then I will elaborate. But this seemed to appease him but he is young so I am sure he might ask more as he gets older.

I would say it's the same as having parents of diffrent color, or gay parents, foster parent or even disabled parents.

It's just a case of my kids being curious and me having to explain the diffrence to them. Although it's easier to explain things like a person of diffrent color or a single or a foster parent then it is to explain two daddies or two mommies, but that's a whole different conversation

I have always been honest with my kids. My oldest, now 7, asks many questions as he is curious about lots of things now. I just try to explain things to him at his level, so that he can understand.

Well there's no big secret as to why some families have only one parent at home, so be honest. Kids will ask more questions as they think this over, so be prepared for a question out of the blue a few days or weeks down the line!

Just tell them the truth even though they cannot comprehend everything. We cannot lie to them as sooner or later they will find out one way or the other. Try to answer all the questions they asked and if they keep telling you that they can't get it, tell them when they are older, they will understand. For now, just ask them to accept what you say.

Well I am single mother and yes, I know it is very difficult but its all up to you how you handle it.

My approach has always been one of honesty. It does not have to be brutal or graphic, but it's better that you explain these kind of issues to you child from a point of love and respect rather than an older kid at school 'explain' it to them. This would apply to many of life's difficult questions.

When our kids were growing up, theirs was about the only two-parent family around our neighborhood. We explained things to our kids, but our son was very possessive of his Dad and would get really angry when they went to the park to play three flies on the baseball diamond and boys started appearing out of nowhere to play with them. Soon our son will probably start experiencing the same thing with his sons, and see it from the other perspective.

I don't think it is such a big deal, every child will have friends who have just one resident parent. Most children just accept that on face value but if they ask about it be honest and say there are various reasons why a child may live with just one parent. Most importantly reassure the child that your own family will be staying just the way it is.