Parental Filter

How do you deal with that stage they go through at around 15 or 16 when they think they know everything and they act as if you are an idiot? It doesn't last for too long but it can be seriously irritating.

I know just what you mean, they make your hands itch at times. I think the only answer is to let them find out the hard way. As they say, you can't put an old head on young shoulders. Once they have made a few mistakes they will realise that they don't know it all.

I think if the child is rude or arrogant in the way they speak to you then you should address that behaviour, but if he is just being a know all it may be better to ignore it, that phase does pass.

Someone once told me that in parenting as in life you need to pick your battles wisely. I think Kernow is right, tackle deliberate rudeness etc but let the rest pass you by, they will grow out of it.

Wise advice, but sometimes it is so hard to ignore, they can make your blood boil, but it is pointless to turn everything into an argument.

I don't think my kids went through that, but then I didn't chatter at them a lot.

Something that really works is asking how the teen formulated their opinion, and avoid trying to prove that you are older and wiser. Often, their decisions are based on what they know which is often a pretty accurate assessment of the situation as it function in their world.

Most of the arguments I have heard between teens and parents are "who's right" arguments.

If you stop playing to win, and play for results, things go a bit better.

Our kids didn't give us as hard a time as some of their friends did. When my son was about twelve he decided to give it a try. I'd had a hard day at work, and it was the worst time for him to get lippy. He said something way out of line (Isn't it nice that we forget most of this?) My first reaction was to think how I'd love to smack him right then. He must have saw what I was thinking and it upset him. He said, "I'm sorry" and I said "I'm sorry" and we had a nice hug. He still remembers this and brings it up and we have a good laugh over it.

I've also tried to live by that kind of advice. There are going to be some battles coming along that are much more worthy of a fight, I think. Eventually they come to realize that maybe we're not so clueless after all!

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When my teens would try me, I tried to remind myself that at their age I was much much worse.

Heck, I think I am having this phase at 9 years old. He seems to think that he knows what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. He's always right and I'm always wrong. I have yet to figure out how to deal with this.