An acquaintance had this problem with his fifth grade student child . One time during math classes he didn't behave well ,spoke with one of his classmates and disturbed the program.The teacher get very angry about that and without warning them , she would give them the worst mark - that was an one on a scale from one to ten ,without examining math's knowledge of any of them.

The child was shocked by that and at first didn't confess to his parents what has happened to him in school . Soon he began to feel bad , having symptoms like strong headaches ,nausea, lost of appetite and looked depressed . His parents got worried and took him to the doctor . After all the medical investigations have been made ,the doctor concluded that his problem was not physical, but rather psychological . So , they took the child to a psychologist and found out that he was suffering from an emotional trauma caused by his teacher 's severe punishment. The parents then went to school principal and told the whole story by he was not that impressed and didn't make a point from warning that teacher saying that only their child reacted like that . What do you think about that ?

It is a tricky situation. if the school refuse to do nothing then it is obviously up to the parents to sort out the problem. They of course have the choice of moving the child to a different school and that is probably an option they should discuss with him.

I am a believer in teaching children how to deal with stressful situations rather than taking them out of them. I obviously do not think a child should be unduly stressed but I think if they learn to cope at a young age then they have a good grounding fr when they become an adult. Knowing how to cope with stress could prevent illnesses as an adult.

Every child is different and just because only one child was damaged by the teachers actions it doesn't mean that the behaviour was acceptable. The teacher's action should have been fair, consistent and proportionate, it doesn't sound as if it was any of those. The child will need help to regain trust in that teacher and in teachers in general, he will need lots of reassurance and his parents need to encourage him to talk about his day at school and to be more open about anything that is worrying him. They can help him learn some strategies about how to cope better in future and they can explain to him that sometimes adults get things wrong just as this teacher did.

Personally I would have put the complaint to the school in writing to make it formal because the school has a responsibility to support this child and to help him overcome this incident. Something similar happened to my son when he was 6, it took a very long time to get his confidence back and despite trying to work on the relationship with the original teacher, the school (quite rightly) decided to move the teacher, in this case it helped the child and the original teacher to have a bit of space.

There are many sensitive children around and teachers have to realize that. Not all students are the same. I was sensitive as a child.

When I was in eighth grade my math teacher was very cruel to me. It was the first week of school and the math teacher kept telling us that if didn't understand we should tell him. Finally I worked up the nerve to tell him that I didn't understand. He asked what didn't I understand and I ruefully said that I didn't understand any of the work. The class started to laugh and the teacher thought I was joking around and got angry with me and made a comment. That was the last time I ever asked for help.

By the second week of class the teacher found out that I was not a trouble maker and that I really did not understand the work. From then on he kept asking me if I needed help and I always refused. I know he felt bad about what he said that first week but his remark did damage me.

Teacher's are not mind readers but they have to figure out what a student is really like before they do something wrong. Isn't that what they are trained for?

My son has had teachers who in the past have been overbearing and had overly-high expectations of the children they were teaching. And I don't make a fuss about the way a teacher teaches a class, or put the teacher down in front of my child, even though I may feel the teacher's methods are not on a level with the needs of many of the children in his/her class. A child needs to learn to respect the adult in charge and complete the work assigned. Authority figures are going to be a part of their entire lives (good or bad) and they must learn to accept the work thrown at them, it's a fact of life. What I do though, is help my child as much as I can to help him to understand what he's been asked to do and to complete the work on time. School isn't only a place of learning facts and figures, it's also a place of learning what's going to be needed in the adult world. Again, JMO.

Originally Posted by skatss

Teacher's are not mind readers but they have to figure out what a student is really like before they do something wrong. Isn't that what they are trained for?

I am sorry for the way that teacher treated you ,skatss , is so bad when an adult don't realize how much her/his behavior affects a child who may never regain trust in adults.
Yes, the teachers are supposed to know how to approach a child in a way that won't hurt his feelings , since they had some child psychology classes while trained for this job , plus many have a counselor hired by the school whom they may ask for help when they cannot figure out themselves how to relate to a undisciplined child .

Originally Posted by skatss

Teacher's are not mind readers but they have to figure out what a student is really like before they do something wrong. Isn't that what they are trained for?

Unless a teacher is working with special needs students, there is no training in finding out what a child is like on an emotional level, as far as I can tell.

It is only recently that people started considering children's feelings. Any of us who are over 45 can probably remember some reactions by teachers that make this low mark look like a gift.

I am not saying that is is alright to traumatize someone without reason, but sooner or later a child or teenager will experience an emotional trauma deemed necessary to change their behavior.

Originally Posted by SageMother

I am not saying that is is alright to traumatize someone without reason, but sooner or later a child or teenager will experience an emotional trauma deemed necessary to change their behavior.

It is not the same thing to experience an emotional trauma at an early age or when you're already an adult .
In the example I gave here ,that teacher acted unjustly and even adults may have strong reactions to that ,how much more a child . After all, teachers are supposed to learn children to practice justice and be loving and compassionate .
When a child is treated unfairly the message he gets is that adults are all hypocrites people that say one thing and do another .

Originally Posted by HappyMom

It is not the same thing to experience an emotional trauma at an early age or when you're already an adult . In the example I gave here ,that teacher acted unjustly and even adults may have strong reactions to that ,how much more a child . After all, teachers are supposed to learn children to practice justice and be loving and compassionate . When a child is treated unfairly the message he gets is that adults are all hypocrites people that say one thing and do another .

Children and teens experience some emotional trauma when forced to change their behavior, or experience the consequences of continued, undesirable behavior.

Had the student been instructed to remain quiet, but talked anyway? Is this repeated misbehavior that had stretched beyond the final incident?

Often, students omit those facts that place them in a less than innocent light. It could be that his upset was his worry that his parents would find out about a misbehavior that they had addressed with him before, which caused his nervous reactions.

I am not saying that everyone involved is in the right, but this will not be the last time that he has to face this sort of complication. I am sure that he will handle himself appropriately if faced with the same sorts of choices again.

I had a fourth grade teacher that hated me so much she stood me in front of terh class and said " your so fattehworld woudl be better off if you were dead..so here take these and do us all a favor". then she shoved the pills in my hands and another student got me a glass of water.. I was mortified. when I told the principal and my mom who worked at the school they didndt do anything.
so I know how thatkid felt and I wanted otprotect my daughtyer from cruelty from teachers as well as other students.

I empathisize with the child, and i wish that one coudl convince the parents that afew hoursof homeschool with save future therapy visists........

julie