Parental Filter

That's a good point, Sage. I have known quite a few adopted children, and most of them are not interested in delving into their roots. Most are happy that someone wanted them.

That is, by far, the most important thing. Many situations, that others see through the filter of "loss", aren't interpreted that way by the child growing up in the same circumstances, if they are loved and wanted.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I am glad though that she was able to hold the baby. As to keeping the memory alive I think that this is just going to be part of life. I mean her Dad and the mother's family are going to talk about her in years to come so she is going to hear about her Mother. I think letting her know her Mother and what happened over the years is a good idea.

Of course the husband will still be mourning for awhile, but the baby is growing and totally healthy. She has alot of black hair and big, shiny black eyes. She is cooing...just an adorable little girl.