Parental Filter

I couldn't stand listening to my mother justify her unreasonable fears when it came to my own children. She was always running on about how this or that might happen. She just couldn't stand my comfort level with the unknown and tried to manipulate me into seeing the world the way she did.

It has always been this way, which leads me to believe that she must be mentally ill.

Have you had grands try to influence your fear level, meaning they wanted to be as high as their's, when they had the chance to influence your child rearing approach?

How did you handle it?

Those are the kind of obsessions that grands seem to want to pass down to justify their own fears. Sometimes I think it's just a matter of what tv shows they watch, or if they read sensationalist tabloids that get them all worked up.

This doesn't sound like more to me than a grandparent being worried about the safety of the grandchildren. I think good grandparents all do that. I don't know... maybe decades ago it would be unreasonable, but the whole dynamic has changed now and a lot of things that people worry about actually ARE wise things to have concerns about.

I've noticed it's often the "fearless" people who end up crying on television about something bad that happened that they previously swore could "never happen to me."

I haven't had problems with them being over fearful about their grandchildren, but I have had problems with them trying to impose outdated and ridiculous routines. I soon put a stop to that.

Hehe Those are always "fun" I agree. Which were the most ridiculous that you've come across in your own case?

Believe it or not my children's grandmother thought they should be taught to use the lavatory at set times!!

Ours wanted to force the children to eat everything on their plate. I don't believe in wasting food but it is important that children learn to stop eating when they are full, they should never be forced to eat.

How did they justify this desire?

Often, the fear comes through in the justification, which is no longer concern but an attempt at wresting power away from the parents.

My sister-in-law used to do this with my nephews and it made me cringe every time I saw it. They couldn't get up until they were finished.

I know that her reasoning was to teach them not to take more than they could eat, but who among us has NOT had "eyes bigger than the stomach" at times?

Well my goodness! That's a new one to me. I wonder how she would like it if someone would make *her* "hold it" until a clock reached a certain time?