I hate to say it, but I think when we stopped spanking, we stopped disciplining. I think kids really started getting out of hand for a while. Parents have had to come back to be stricter again and finding better approaches at disciplining. What are some of the effective tactics you use with your children, rather than spanking?

My nephew is a soft soul. By that I mean it impacts him worse and hurts his feelings more if you are angry with him than it does to spank him. I tend to explain to him what he did upset me and why. And then I tell him he needs to think about what he did. Usually it has a much greater result than spanking ever would.

I don't even really think the spanking is where it went wrong. Wanting to be your child's friend or buddy more so than a solid parental figure is a mistake made by many parents. Especially those that had their children young and are still growing up themselves.

Some discipline works for some kids while it won't work for others. Time outs is one that is suggested a lot and can work if you are consistent! That is so important that no matter what you choose as a way of discipline is that you are consistent and follow through. Sometimes reward systems for good behavior works better than punishing the bad behavior. I guess you just need to really know your child and go for what they respond to.

"Shunning" really worked for my oldest ("I am not going to play with you when you behave like that."). For my youngest, taking away toys seems to be the way to go right now, but he is still little.

I was lucky in that time outs seem to have worked with my child. But I do spank on occasion especially if they have done something that can be harmful to them and they have been told repeatedly about.

I did the occasional spank with my oldest when he was younger. And with my middle child, he is 3. I have spanked him twice. Both times because he was not listening to stop a behavior. Needless to say, those are the only 2 times I have spanked him. Now just a reminder of " I really dont want to spank you....." works quite well.
I really think it depends on the child and their personality. Not all children will react the same to certain forms of discipline.

It does depend on the child's personality and what they value. To admonish my oldest I took away some of her toys, she couldn't have cared less. But if I take away a car from my son he becomes Mr. Obedient. My other daughter hates it when I say I'm not happy with what she's doing and she'll ask me not to be mad at her. To me, hitting just shows you can inflict pain and makes the kid scared of you.

It really does depend on the personality of the child. Some children will actually respond to spanking. Others it is most effective to take something away from them. A select few will even listen to logic. You have to try different things and find what works best for each child.

I agree that not everything works with every child. My son is only 18 months, but he responses to "no" and redirection best at this age. We have also spanked on occasion, or slapped a hand away.

I've never really found any other effective way in disciplining my child except through spanking and talking to her. Though I only spank in the bottom or hand.