I just want to say that I am really excited to have found this forum. Hi all!

I had my first child, my little girl, 3 months ago (86 days, to be exact). The problem is, my work schedule keeps me away most of the weekdays while she is awake. Lately I have had this gnawing concern that she won't see me as her father but just as the guy who comes and goes and loves her mother.

First, is this rational? It's not like I'm never home. I'm always home on weekends and in the evenings, its just that she's almost always asleep within an hour or so of me getting home. Second, if it is rational, what can I do about it? Is there a role the father can play in infancy that can increase his bond with the child?

Thanks all, look forward to hearing from you!

I think a lot of fathers are probably in your shoes with having to work a great deal. Just spend as much time with your daugther as you can. Become involved with feedings when you are home. Even if the mother breastfeeds you can provide her the milk in a bottle.

You have to make time for her while you are at home. If you work seven days a week then that could be trouble. The weekends should be the golden time for you, your wife and the baby to all be together.

I think it is wonderful that you want to bond with your daughter. I am sure that she will know you as her father. My son knows his father as his father and he makes no effort and never has to try to bond with him. My son is 9 months old and my husband has never bathed him, only changes him once in a great while, and I dont know that he has fed him more than a handful of times. He plays with him maybe 10 minutes at a time before he grows bored with him. My son still lights up when he sees him and absolutely adores him. I dont think you have anything to worry about. Congrats on the baby. They are wonderful.

The fact that you are concerned tells me that your child will definately be able to feel your love as it is obviously strong. Sometimes it can be a hard juggling at to both provide the financial support and the time your family needs. All you can do is make the most of the time you do have with your daughter.

I think we should be able to make time for children. Giving time to children is the best thing that we can give to them. they can learn from us everyday with every move we do. and i think as mother have their role same way, father does too.

Bonding could even be holding your daughter when she is asleep. I believe that she will feel bonded to you just because you are making the effort even if you don't feel it is enough.

Yes, concerned fathers can find all kinds of ways to bond with their children, and as it was stated earlier, the very fact that you want to make sure that your baby will know you as her father will bond you both the tighter.

I will suggest that you are the one in charge of bedtime routine. Do the bathtime, read her a story or sing her a song. Feed her the last bottle if she is getting bottles, if not just sit next to your wife when she is being feed and be with them.

During weekends, send your wife out for some alone time (a nap, some shopping or whatever she like) and enjoy the one on one time with your daughter while your wife get a bit of rest.

Originally Posted by Knish4004

I had my first child, my little girl, 3 months ago (86 days, to be exact). The problem is, my work schedule keeps me away most of the weekdays while she is awake.

Wow, this is an older post, so your little girl will soon be turning a year old! Within a month actually! I'm interested to know how this worked out. Where did you find the balance? I'm sure that the time you were able to spend with her in those first months proved to be very nice bonding times.