I have inlaws that could not wait for us to have children. I now have two sons seven and five and my inlaws never come over. They don't live far at all, less then an hour away and they never come to any of the kids games or their birthday parties. It frustrates me because then my mother in law will get upset because they have such a good relationship with my parents. Well my parents take the time to be a part of their lives. The only time that my boys see my inlaws is if we take them over to see them. It just frustratrates me.

My father is like that with my son and my nephew. He wanted boys so bad. He got me and my sister. He was excited about grandkids. Now he has 2 grandsons. He will complain that he never gets to see them, but he literally drives right past my sisters house every single day to go to work. I call and leave messages all the time, no response. I get so frustrated with him.

It is sad when grandparents don't take the time to spend with their grandchildren. I don't see it often but still it does happen

I think that grandparents get really excited but forget that their age will impact how much time they can actually devote to the grandkids. The trick is to avoid indulging their litany of woes when it comes to the lack of contact. They are responsible for their relationships, not you.

I think that if the grandparents are able to get out and go and be with there grandchildren, they should. Its sad that they don't come and see the boys and spend time with them seeing as they are only an hour or so away. My parents live over 4 hours away and they come and visit now and then. We used to live 15 minutes away and they hardly came by. People change, my parents did. They are more into the kids lives now then they used to be. And if the in laws don't like the way that your parents and the kids have there relationship, then they should do something about it.

My inlaws don't see our son unless we take him to visit them. FIL is retired and MIL works at home on her own schedule, and they still won't come to us, ever. It's sad, but I can probably count on one hand how many times they've seen him since he's been born.

And I guess the worst part is that when they do see him (and we're out in public), then they (MIL especially) tries to act like she's the best grandma ever. It really irritates me.

Originally Posted by tater03

Well my parents take the time to be a part of their lives. The only time that my boys see my inlaws is if we take them over to see them. It just frustratrates me.

That would be frustrating indeed! It's very sad when grandparents aren't a part of a child's life. There's really no excuse these days with email and computer cams and so on... in the past if grandparents didn't live closeby, they had to keep in touch with letters and an occasional gift or card, but nope, with email there's absolutely no excuse for not keeping in close contact.

I think many grandparents are actually a bit scared of their grandkids. I know that sounds silly, but you have to remember that it's normally been a while since they've done it themselves.

As the kids get older it might become easier for them to relate.

The problem is because they have not had a relationship with my sons the boys don't know them and tend to be quiet and shy away from them and honestly I cannot blame them.

Originally Posted by tater03

The problem is because they have not had a relationship with my sons the boys don't know them and tend to be quiet and shy away from them and honestly I cannot blame them.

That can certainly start the snowball rolling downhill, yes. The kids shy away from not knowing the grandparents... the grandparents think something is wrong because the kids didn't warm up to them. Once it goes too far, I suppose it's hard to pull out of.