Parental Filter

All i have read is how grandparents have rights who dont see there grandchildren, But in my case when i split up with my ex i never stopped excess to his grandmother until 2 months ago when my son opened up to me and i was disgusted with what he was telling me, he is 9 years old, telling me the things his nan was telling him i went in to another room and cried for hours i couldnt believe a grandmother could try and turn my son against me in every way possible from telling him she doesnt love him if he comes home early to his stepdad is a b and he should basically get lost and has no right being with him because he is her child and my other children are his, to black mailling him with his feelings, since stopping him from staying over night she has started court proceeding against me, does anyone know if she will get her way because im terrified im going to lose, and my son will have to continue to lead this life and there is nothing i can do to protect him.

If your son is strong enough he will soon realize that all things that have been told to him are all lies, and we ll make is own way.9
9 years is a very fragile age, and the child is always influenced by what he is told, but when he will grow up he will start to rethink this things.

I agree with this advice - the same thing happened to me when I became an adult. The best thing you can do is be a positive role model for your son.

Sam

I don't know how this works when going through the court system. But I would hope that if she is doing this kind of stuff that she would not be entitled to rights. A grandmother is suppoused to be loving and supportive and not be causing turmoil in the childs life. I hope that it all work out and I agree with the above poster as he gets older he will understand and see exactly what she is doing and more than likely end the relationship on his own.

No matter what else happens, you need to prepare your son. YOU need to quit worrying.
The judge is going to have a social worker or psychologist talk to him. Tell him it will be ok and all he has to do is tell the truth. I cannot stress enough that you have to tell him over and over that all he has to do is be honest.

The truth will set you free...literally.

I disagree. Things planted in his mind can influence his life and it would be terrible for him to have to grow up with them floating around in his head. Waiting until someone is grown and hoping they will understand what was going on leaves the way open to alot of resentment...not directed at the grandmother, but directed at the parent that allowed the influence to continue.

Just as water wears away at stone, so does repeated expressions that are geared toward disrupting a child's relationship with their parent and the world at large. If you can request limited or supervised visits then you might consider following through with that.

I agree with the above poster that it could effect him later in life but I would suggest if you are worried about that maybe a third party like a child physcologist would be better than the mother explaing that the grandmother is lying.

Precedent has shown that grandparents have the right to see their grandchildren even if the parent's don't want them to. The only way you could legally prevent them is by proving that they are an immediate threat to your childs safety. What you can do is no longer allow the grandmother to be around your son unattended. If you feel that it could help you could also try talking to the grandmother about why you feel what she is telling your son is innapropriate.

Thankfully the rights of grandparents are more limited in UK and a grandmother who had caused the child distress (as in this case) would have very little chance of having contact with the grandchild and it certainly would not be unsupervised contact.

I'm wondering, and perhaps this is out of left field, if a move to as far away as possible might alleviate the major part of the grandmother's mischief. I don't believe that a grandparent can sue about a move; all they can do is travel to where the grandchild is for their visitation.
It may also be worth finding out if there are different laws in other states/countries regarding grandparent's rights. If so, perhaps this could confound the grandmother's aims.
I know this sounds extreme, but protecting a child trumps everything.