It can be difficult to communicate with your child, especially when you feel that your child is making a careless decision. As their parent, you love your child have their best interests in mind, and you struggle with allowing your children to spread their wings, blossom, and make their own mistakes on a daily basis. You have a difficult time letting go as your child matures, because as a parent you only want to protect your child. This is why it is extremely difficult to listen to what your child has to say (especially when they have made a poor choice) many times.
However, you must come to understand that as your child grows and matures that it is important to allow your child express his or her sense of individuality, with your guidance of course. This means that you will have to learn to communicate effectively with your child. This can be extremely difficult when you feel that your child is being rebellious and not listening to you, and your child feels that you are not even considering his point of view.
In order to encourage your child to communicate you, many times you will have to repress the urge to immediately point out the flaws in your child's behavior and thinking, and just take a moment to listen. Since it is natural for people to react rather than respond, learning to communicate with your child by choosing to actively listen may be a bit difficult at first. After all, you feel that you have had many more life experiences than your child and that you know best. However, you must also realize that part of being a good parent is listening and communicating with your children, allowing them to realize that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions have value also.
As your child grows and matures, he will naturally begin to express and assert
his individuality more and more. It is important that when your child comes to you to talk that you focus all your attention on the conversation. And this may mean turning off the television or interrupting your reading for a while. When you take the time to focus and listen to his concerns, he is secure that you value and will consider his thoughts, feelings and opinions and will be more likely to come to you in the future.
When you are communicating with your child, it is also imperative that you do not immediately react or judge what your child is telling you. Take the time to listen and also to allow your child to express his emotions, whether he is angry, exuberant, frustrated, or just inquisitive. Allow your child the opportunity to share without interruption or judgment from you. When you listen to your child and respond rather than reacting, you have the perfect opportunity to guide and encourage your child to make better choices and find solutions that he may not have considered. Your child will also appreciate the fact that you are understanding and will be more apt to come to you in the future with his problems and concerns.
You should also realize that by encouraging communication and listening to your child, you are showing him how to do the same. Children learn best by example, and if you are open and receptive to communicating, your child will benefit by being a better communicator as well.
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