I know a lot of children that are troubled because their parents are divorced. But do you think children can be well rounded and happy even when their parents do not live in the same home.

Yes children can definatley be happy and handle divorce very well. It is important for parents to work together to make the transition mas easy as possible for the kids.

Children can be happy and well adjusted if their parents handle the situation reasonably.

It may not be easy for divorcing parents, but what children need are two strong, capable, loving parents who try to help children understand that they will not be living in a "broken home" - they will be living in a "separated family" (and there is a big difference in the connotations of each of these terms).

No matter who is angry or who may have a broken heart or who is scared to death, parents need to be strong and solid at this time when children could feel that their world is flying away piece by piece. Finding a way to make sure the children still have some time out with both parents together can help them experience "life as it was" for just a few hours during a dinner out or for just a Saturday morning during the Little League game. Parents don't need to spend whole days together if that's too much. They can keep "family together time" down to a few hours and go where being present with the children is more the focus than talking together is.

Children should never witness the throwing out of one parents' belongings. Parents should, if at all possible, not move far from where the children are. Custodial parents should not take the children far from the other parent either.

When parents realize they must divorce the very first and foremost thing that should be on their mind is what is best for the children in view of the fact that two happily married parents are no longer an option. They need to be grown-ups more than ever for their children, and they need to try to keep physical and emotional upheaval for their children to as minimal level as possible.

Trying to send children the message that when troubled marriages end it can be help families be in a healthier situation and can be a way to build a more whole future is important. Trying to let children know that their "family" will always be their mother, father, and any siblings even if their parents are no longer married can help them feel a little less thrown for a loop.

When parents divorce it is not the time to tell children, "You have to be strong", and it REALLY is not time to tell little boys, "Now you're the man of the house." It is the time when parents must figure out a way to be strong enough for themselves and all the children. They may not be able to give their children a divorce-free childhood, but they can at least figure out a way to be strong for them.

I think parents need to realize that a child identifies with both of them. If you degrade the other parent, the child internalizes it. "He is bad and I am half him, so I must be bad too!"

I have a cousin going through a divorce with children and it is mortifying how much she will cut her ex-husband down in front of the kids. Most recently, she wouldn't let it drop that the kid came back from visitation in a sweatsuit and sneakers. She prefers to dress him very preppy. Why on earth does it matter? Why is that a battle that a 4-year old has to hear?

of course they can. Children adapt fairly easily to changes in their lives. What has the greatest impact on them is how the parents manage and behave during and after a divorce.

Originally Posted by medako

of course they can. Children adapt fairly easily to changes in their lives. What has the greatest impact on them is how the parents manage and behave during and after a divorce.

Yes, I agree... children can adjust to all kinds of changes much more easily
than many adults can.

So can they be well-rounded and happy after a divorce? Absolutely. A whole lot more than being miserable hearing parents fighting every day of their young lives.

Children need to know that both parents love them, and if that is the case then they can be as content living with one parent as with both.

yes I too believe that kids can be happy and well rounded even though their parents break up. I believe (as mention before) the key is for the parents to be able to work together even though they are not a couple anymore. To put aside their personal issues and do what is best for their kids.

Yes I think that divorce can really be hard on the children. But it is the parents job to let them know that it is not their fault what happened between you and their dad. And let them know that you both still love them and you will be there for them.

Originally Posted by MrsH

yes I too believe that kids can be happy and well rounded even though their parents break up. I believe (as mention before) the key is for the parents to be able to work together even though they are not a couple anymore. To put aside their personal issues and do what is best for their kids.

It's always good when things can happen this way, but I wonder how common or rare it actually is? I'm sure there are stats on it but I haven't seen them yet that I recall.