Parental Filter

I do not know how you people feel about this but from my experience my parents stayed together for us four children. Now as an adult I look back and think what a miserable excistance they must have had.

All I remember of my early days is my parents arguing about one thing or another. My father is no longer with us and my mother is as free as a bird.

What do you think?

Don't stay together for the benefit of the children, but both be involved in theri lives.

I would agree that staying together might seem like the right thing to do but I would have to say it is the worst. Alot of time the children ending up seeing alot of things that they shouldn't see and they learn from the parents. I just think it is not a good idea at all.

i agree that staying together just for the kids is a huge sacrifice..but then it has its disadvantages..especially if you're going to be arguing most of the time....

I debated this one long and hard a few years ago before I got divorced. In the end it was so much better for my kids to be in a different environment. Eventually I met my second husband and now the kids are in a happier environment and getting to be raised while seeing true affection and an equal partnership. Even before I remarried it was better for them to see their mother happy and strong instead of two unhappy parents trying to stick it out. Of course they were 2 and 8 at the time, perhaps it's different when they're older.

My parents told us often they only stayed together for the children. They fought horribly. Now the children are in their 30s and 40s, and they are still together and fighting, go figure.

I think if you are going to stay together for the children, you need to also decide not to be miserable even if it means separating aspects of your life. You are not helping your children by putting the weight of their parents' misery on their heads. You are only making yourself feel better by being a martyr.

I think that it is a bad idea. Even when the parents hide the problems from the children I think the children wioll still sense it and possibly end up being as miserable and unhappy as the parents. Happy parents make happy children.

In most cases I think staying together for the children is the worse thing a couple can do for themselves as well as their children.

I think that children learn and live what they learn from there parents. I wouldn't want my children to know that there parents stayed together for the kids sakes, what does that tell the kids? They grow up and get married, have there own kids and decide that they should do the same with there partner for the kids. I don't agree with it. You only live life once, why be unhappy for the sakes of the kids when more then likely if your unhappy with your partner, you take it out on the kids to. And who wants there kids to look back and remember all the fussing and fighting. That hurts kids more then helps them.

My parents stayed together for my sister and I. I wish they hadnt. There was much arguing, and lots of tension. They are both much happier people now that they arent together. I think we would have been better off if we had had 2 separate happy households than one tense grumpy one.