this question occurs very often and i think it is important to address:
How do you tell the children that you are getting divorced? Who should say it?
the wife or the husband?
Have any of you experienced this? I think it is very important to choose the right way to make him understand this critical decision.

I would say that ideally both parents should tell the children together as it helps to impart that the fault is in no way their's and that both parents are still committed to loving their children. I say ideally because this is not always possible to do. Sometimes when a divorce is in the works there is one (or both) spouses who are so angry and bitter that they are unwilling to do what is in the best interest of the children.

If you are unfortunate enough to be divorcing after the children are about the age of 3, you may be able to draw on examples from the child's life. Perhaps they have had a friendship end or have experienced people moving away but still being near enough to visit. This would be a good place to begin the conversation. It is nice if the parent who will live elsewhere can participate in this conversation. A child might help the parent with arranging things in the second home. Looking to the child's or children's stage of development is a good guide for including them so they can learn from positive examples, when possible.

Because the pressures to remain together have been woven into religious beliefs and the structure of laws that are now inappropriate and have been changed or simple done away with. The culture lag in dealing with this issue tends to render parents overwhelmed because they have had no examples that were positive in accepting these necessary life changes. Where previous generations have been discouraged from planning for this event, we must create new traditions surrounding modern day family dynamics. I foresee a day when the bitter divorce is no longer the norm as people embrace this type of change as a workable transition.

I have to think that the best thing to do is to tell them together and stress that it is nothing that the child has done to cause the divorce. I know alot of times things can get bitter but this is just one time where you have to put the children's needs first. I know that is easy for me to say and not as easy to do but that to me is what I feel need to happen.

What i feel is, parents should not be divorced as much as they can. parents should be capable to handle the small quarrels and fights. but if the last solution is divorce then no one can do nothing and telling the truth to children will be the best part of them. but should care the children's age too.

I've never had experience on this, but I suppose both parents should be present during the "revelation" of a divorce. Although it is unlikely anymore, it is very important that the child feels that both parents are under one team because this is how he feels secure, and as long as he feels secure it will be an easier process for him, although hearts will still break.
Both parents should emphasize on the fact that no one is quitting on the family, both parents will always remain to be his parents and the child will always remain to be their child and nothing can ever change that.

The child has to see both parents' commitment at loving him, and keeping friendships from both ends for his sake.

Originally Posted by Mommy In Pink*

I've never had experience on this, but I suppose both parents should be present during the "revelation" of a divorce. Although it is unlikely anymore, it is very important that the child feels that both parents are under one team because this is how he feels secure, and as long as he feels secure it will be an easier process for him, although hearts will still break. Both parents should emphasize on the fact that no one is quitting on the family, both parents will always remain to be his parents and the child will always remain to be their child and nothing can ever change that. The child has to see both parents' commitment at loving him, and keeping friendships from both ends for his sake.

I think it is not only me who have the same thinking as you but the majority of parents here.

Both the parents should be definitely get together to tell the kids about it even though it is very difficult to do so. If you really love your kids, both of you should do it for their sakes. After all, it is none of their faults. I believe they will get very upset and cry when you breaks the news to them. That make it more for you to be present together to try to sort things out.