As a parent, you know and understand that rules and regulations are a vital part of your child's life. They not only help to ensure the safety of your child, but help your child feel safe and secure. The most difficult part about establishing rules for your child is that each child is different. You will have to assess your child's maturity level and personality in order to set the most appropriate rules. What works for one child may not not be effective at all for another child.
When you are setting rules for your children, you need to keep in mind that the rules and consequences for for breaking the rules should be clearly established. The rules that you define should be discussed with your child and both of you should have a clear understanding that the rules are necessary and that infractions will not be tolerated.
Though some rules allow for negotiation with your child, there are some that do not. These rules are the ones concerning safety, such as teaching your small child not to touch a hot stove or not to play with matches. These rules are not negotiable and your children should understand clearly that these rules are to be followed precisely and never broken.
As your child gets older and becomes more independent, you will establish new rules. Some rules that you will eventually discuss with your adolescent and teenage children include your expectations concerning drinking, drugs, and driving. Since these rules are also in place for safety reasons, it is important that your child knows that they are not negotiable either. Make sure that your children understand that these rules are for their safety and are not to be relaxed for any reason in the different situations they may encounter.
Other rules that you set for your children do allow room for negotiation. These rules can be fairly discussed and agreed upon by both your and your child. Such rules include things such as how much time can be spent each week watching television or playing video games. You may also negotiate with your child about issues such as what time you expect homework to be completed or when they should be home for dinner. Another important rule that can be discussed with teenage children is curfew expectations.
Regardless of the rules you set or negotiate with your child, your child should have a clear understanding that the rules are not to be bent or broken. If your child bends or breaks a rule, then he should understand that he will suffer the consequence of that choice. It is your job as a parent to ensure that the rules are consistently followed and appropriate consequences are rendered when the rules are ignored.
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