Hi,
I don't really know where to start with this one...my daughter is 9 years old, she's beautiful, intelligent and slim...but recently she's been cutting her food up so it looks like she's eaten it, spitting it into her napkin or going to the loo and spitting it out when she thinks no-ones looking. Her father was killed 6 years ago and she's had help over this so I'm pretty sure it's a new thing....
Does anyone have any advice?? I don't want to make it an issue or approach it in the 'wrong way' and make it worse. Some people say it's a phase but I never went through a phase like this....
Thanks for reading and any advice is gratefully received...

Most young girls, or children for that matter go through diffrent phases. It is very possible that the eating problem is temporary.

Have you however considered that the father being killed could be an influence? I realise that she was only 3 when he passed away but some things stick in the subconscience.

i think you must coax her into eating..but very subtly..over pushing can result in negative effects.

I would consult with her physician. Perhaps he can provide you with guidance on how to handle this. I would be concerned.

I would agree with consulting with her doctor. Unfortunately one of the components of an eating disorder such as anorexia (some of the habits of which you are definitely describing) is that the more of issue you make about eating the more likely the behavior is to escalate. Does she talk about having a negative body image or say anything about being teased?

Agree with everyone above. Also, look at the friends she has-are they doing the same thing? Does she seem to be under a lot pressure?
Keep a close eye on her and keep open communication.
Wishing you the best in this delicate situation.
Remember as a mom to follow your intuitions.

The problem is with all those girls like the olsen twins promoting that they have sleander and slim bodies. I guess the fact that one of the twins had a drug addiction which 'helped' her trim down is conviniently forgotten.

I would most certainly talk to her Dr and see what they suggest. If it's just a phase, no big deal. But if it is the begining of an eating disorder things could rapidly get out of hand.

Seeing the doctor is the best thing. Doing this takes the struggle outside of the relationship between the two of you, which may go along way toward avoiding a power struggle in your home.

I agree that you should talk to her peditrician and see what he has to say. You don't want to push and then draw attention to it if it is just a phase. But to be honest I don't see it as a phase so much as warning signs of the possibility that she has issues with eating.